Do you like to play it safe? Do you double check your shoelaces so you don’t trip and stuff like that? Well, according to experts, all your caution could be thwarting your happiness!  Isolating yourself in a safety bubble may be a bad strategy to living a happy lifestyle. Most behavioral experts believe that happiness is a choice, emotional conditioning to manage thought patterns and emotional reaction habits until you are consistently feeling happy and content even though things in life may not be perfect. Being courageous and choosing to take a risk is one of those life choices that can lead to improving the condition of happiness.

It works kind of the same way pain medication works. You see, I once was experiencing chronic migraines. I visited the doctor and he immediately prescribed pain medication. I discovered that just as the drug knocked out the painful nerve sensation, it also knocked out pleasurable nerve sensation. My husband and I decided that it was affecting our happiness where intimacy is concerned. So, if you protect yourself from bad feelings, you are also protecting yourself from experiencing the good feelings.

So, sometimes when you just get a notion to try something new, go for it. Don’t begin weighing the pros and cons and what ifs, rather, dive in and embrace it. It could lead to something wonderful or, at the least, a teaching moment and interesting memory! Without taking a risk, a person is only existing. Truly living involves a bit of excitement, the thrill of stepping out into new territory.

If you avoid getting involved in romantic relationships because you are afraid of getting hurt, you are missing out on the opportunity of temporary or lifelong happiness. Every single person I know who is happily married or partnered with a lifelong commitment has had their share of broken hearts. I don’t know of anyone who has made it through unscathed. But all of us believe the same thing. It was worth it!

So, to enjoy lifelong happiness with the love of your life, you’re going to have to risk a broken heart. You’re going to have to risk having a midnight cry or a nasty fight where things are said that you both regret. And the price you pay will deliver into your hands one of the greatest joys life has to offer, a partner to share the entire world with.

Do you find yourself miserable in social situations because you don’t know what to say? Are you afraid of offending people because you want everyone to like you? Do you find yourself feeling isolated and alone because no one really knows you? Well, you’re right, they don’t because you are too afraid to be yourself. Rather than seek everyone’s approval, say how you feel or what you believe in. Sure, someone is bound to get offended and things could get real awkward real fast, but after the dust settles, those who remain by your side will leave you with no doubt about their love and friendship. And that will bring you happiness!

Another risk that doesn’t seem like a risk at first but really is when you realize all of its implications is to accept things the way that they are. You see, many people run around killing themselves and missing out on so many of life’s “little” things because they are trying to have it all. They miss little Johnny’s first baseball game to be at a board meeting in order to gain a promotion. But, hey, little Johnny will have another game.

Stuff like that happens all the time. And, guess what, you could get run over by a truck before that promotion ever happens. So just go to the ballgame, already. I promise, you’ll never regret it. When you’re lying on your deathbed you won’t be regretting missing a meeting. You will be missing your children. However, if you neglect bonding with them, leaving them alone while they are young, they may follow in your footsteps and leave you alone when you’re old.

And take the chance of giving, just, simply giving. My husband and I often find ourselves with a little bit of extra cash on our hands for, oh, about a couple of hours. Then we find someone who is in need. We can meet that need. We once walked in those shoes so understand that need. So, we give. And even though we say good-bye to that fun plan we had for a couple of hours with that money, we never regret letting it go and getting nothing in return for it. But, actually, we do get something in return. We get the blessing of our love deepening for one another when we realize what a wonderful, generous, kind partner we have for the rest of our lives. That is the kind of happiness money cannot buy.

Also take the risk of admitting that the reason you are not happy is probably your own fault. You see, you are no one else’s responsibility. It’s all up to you. Even if someone is mean to you it is entirely within your power how you respond. And with so much self-help information available free of charge virtually everywhere, at the click and point of a mouse, there is no excuse for not learning how to be happy. If you are not happy it’s your own fault. You’re just not doing what you are supposed to be doing to be responsible for your own happiness. You’re waiting for someone else to do it for you or for some material thing to create it. Just stop that way of thinking. It’s not healthy. Choosing to be happy is a verb, an action, a lifestyle. You actually have to do certain things certain ways and think certain things certain ways to be happy. And, the good news is that happiness is equal opportunity. It’s available to everyone everywhere. So get cracking.

 

 

Written by Gemma